Top ten ways to display your child's artwork/homework

Top Ten Ways to Display Your Child’s Artwork/Homework:

1.  Create a clothesline look and hang the artwork with clothes pins or clips.

2.  Take pictures of the artwork and save the images as your desktop picture or screen saver. 

3.  Purchase frames of varying sizes, hang the empty frames and interchange the artwork or homework throughout the year. 

4.  Purchase a binder with clear plastic sleeves and add the projects to the binder throughout the year. 

5.  Scan the pictures and create a collage of the artwork through the use of a grid system all in one large frame. 

6.  Download the app ‘Artkive’ to store the art.   Simply snap a picture & tag it. You can share, store and print the pictures.

7.  Purchase a large corkboard and hang the pieces with push pins and creative descriptions.

8.  Paint a blank wall or the back of a door with different sized frames and hang the pictures as you please. 

9.  Hang a few cute clipboards on a blank wall and interchange the artwork as the year goes on. 

10.  Scrapbook it! - purchase a large blank scrapbook and glue/paste/tape the artwork and projects into the book.

Understanding Your Child's Anxiety

Understanding your child’s anxiety: 

Anxiety can be a healthy reaction to some of life’s stressors. However, for people experiencing excessive or chronic symptoms they may be struggling with an anxiety disorder.   When children are experiencing overwhelming anxiety it is a whole body experience.  This is very real and can be very scary for the person experiencing these symptoms.  Catching the symptoms early provides time to teach positive coping tools to better manage overwhelming feelings of anxiety and worry.   Some symptoms include:

Negative self-talk, difficulty expressing themselves, unsettled, uncontrollable fears, feeling uneasy, stomach problems, restless, excessive worry, difficulty concentrating, perfectionism, unforgiving of self for making mistakes, difficulty acting spontaneously, unable to act at times, etc.

What NOT to do:  Tell your child to stop it or forget about it. It seems natural for parents to try to make their children feel better by telling them, “Don’t worry”, however this reaction can isolate your child and make they feel they cannot share their feelings with you. If they could stop feeling anxious, they would! Children who are frequently told to simply stop feeling anxious can end up feeling defective and abnormal.

Ideas to try:

Listen, listen, listen

Rather than responding with “don’t worry” ask your child what they are feeling and listen. The feelings are the effect; listen until you hear the cause.  Be present with your child and hear their perspective before you offer your own.  

Set up a worry time

If your child worries about many things throughout the day, set up a worry time. Set aside 15 minutes where they can talk about their worries. They can also write their worries down on paper to share with parents, grandparents or  other adults who will listen.

If your child starts to worry at another time, redirect your child by saying “I am sorry you feel that way, let’s save that thought for our worry time.” Then assist your child to engage in something else as means to distract themselves by engaging in an activity they enjoy.  This is a great way to teach them how to stop their repetitive anxious thoughts in their tracks without dismissing their feelings.

Create a worry box

Have your child imagine a box with a lock. Explain that this is a worry box. If they start to worry, they can imagine opening the box, putting the worry in the box, slamming the lid closed and locking the worry there. Or you can create a REAL worry box and encourage your child to write the worry on a piece of paper and put it in the box. This technique is especially helpful at bedtime when worries get more intense and can keep your child awake at night.

Put the worry outside of the child

It is helpful to separate your child from the worry. This way you externalize the problem and are united in the fight against anxiety.   Have them picture the worry as a creature or a thing. Encourage them to imagine the image and then draw a picture. (Is it furry with claws, a dark cloud or just a blob?)

When worrying starts to take over, your child can picture that creature and can do something about it by talking back and standing up to it! Work with your child and write down things to say to best combat the worry monster and prevent it from taking over such as, “I don’t believe you!”,  “Get away!”

Do something else

Engaging in an alternative activity is key in keeping away worries. Our bodies and minds are such that we cannot be relaxed and worried at the same time. If they are playing with a toy or riding a bike, there is less room for worry to bother the child.

Help them make a list of things to do. Remember, they may not feel like going outside or playing, but help them understand that being active will help prevent those feelings from taking over. As they begin to realize that there are things they can do to help keep worries away, they will gain confidence in their abilities to combat these emotions and once again be able to play and do fun things without having these emotions take over. Here are some ideas:

 Take three deep breaths Run up and down the stairs five times Draw a picture Read Play music

Sing a song Play a game Help a neighbor with yard work Take a pet for a walk

These strategies take practice and time. Give your child positive messages and tell them that you believe in them. If you believe your child needs additional support, contact a licensed counselor at IFC.

Reference: Huebner, D. (2006.) What to do when you worry too much: A kid’s guide to overcoming anxiety. Magination press: Washington DC.

Other Anxiety Resources: 

Wemberly Worried By Kevin Henkes: Child’s book about a mouse named Wemberly worried about everything, especially about the first day of school

Who Feels Scared? By Sue Graves: Cheerful and reassuring story that shows that positive coping skills can help kids deal with fear, and children can be brave even when things seem scary.

When My Worries Get Too Big!: A Relaxation Book for Children who Live with Anxiety by Kari Dunn Buron

Back to School Resolution: No more frazzled mornings!

As you prepare to go ‘Back to School’ this fall… get together with the family and plan a routine that gives you a stress-free start to the day! Include your child in the decision-making.

No one likes arguing about every detailed thing with a cranky, tired child in the morning, so make your morning routine as predictable and ‘ready to go’ as possible!

• Get enough sleep
• Set a consistent bed & wake-up time and stick to it… even when you all want "just one more minute" of sleep or to watch just “one more episode”.
• Lay Out Clothes the Night Before
• Make it a fun part of the bedtime routine. OR on Sunday night put together hangers labeled M, T, W, Th, F for each of your kiddos. Don't forget socks and shoes!
• Schedule Breakfast
• These are fun to plan in advance as well. Set up a schedule where each kid gets to eat his or her favorite meal on a certain day of the week. Its great if you can make it predictable so when your kids are whining and demanding you turn into a short order cook you can respond and say, “sorry, we agreed Wednesdays are oatmeal day!” If you know Mondays are toughest for your family make Mondays cereal day! :)
• Weekly Lunch Prep
• On Sunday, divide your favorite lunch treats five ways and have it ready to grab and go. It’s funny how much kids love dividing their chips and fruit into little containers for the week!
• Give everyone a job!
• Don’t take on all the tasks yourself! Let your kids learn some responsibility while giving yourself some extra time to put on some make-up and do your hair! :) 

If You REALLY Want Your Child's Attention... Whisper!

Having difficulty keeping a neutral tone when your child is yelling or making demands? The next time your child is engaging in disruptive behaviors or makes a loud demand try responding in a whisper.

Whispering helps parents remain calm and appear 'unbothered' by the child's meltdown. This also helps to deescalate the situation because your tone will serve as a calming source.  As you get down on their level and whisper in their ear, you may be surprised to find that your child becomes calmer and more focused as they attempt to listen to what you are saying.

This trick especially comes in handy for parents who have a hard time not showing emotion on their faces. Try approaching your child from behind or from the side (the intent is not to scare them) and place your hands on their shoulders as you whisper in their ear...this way they can't see your reactions and are instead only paying attention to your words and calm tone.

Temper Tantrums

The next time your child has a tantrum, keep on truckin’. Walk away, turn the corner, and peek around it. Make sure your child can’t see you. There are few things more entertaining than seeing a small child who’s beginning to realize that their fits aren’t exciting enough to get them any extra attention.

IN FACT, As means to ignore their behavior while still keeping calm put a bored look on your face and think to yourself, “Nice tantrum, but I think you are losing your touch. Last time you screamed a lot louder and kicked your feet a lot harder.” Take pride in the fact that their tantrums will get less and less severe the more you ignore 'em (as long as they are safe of course). Remember- just like a fire needs oxygen, a tantrum needs attention to thrive- cut the attention and the tantrum withers away:)

Technology guidelines for your household

Technology guidelines for your household.

With the constant shifts in technology it is even more important to have some solid rules about technology in your home.  Here are some ideas that we have seen be helpful in households:

•         Put a curfew on the technology in your home.  AND ENFORCE IT. This encourages kids to prioritize their time, but it also forces them to shut their brains off and disconnect.  Your child is not going to get a good night sleep if he/she’s waiting for a text/facebook/etc response from another peer. (Helpful tip: Many cell phone companies allow parents to set a ‘turn off’ hour for their kids cell phones.)
•         Resist the temptation to put televisions or computers in your children’s room.  Studies show that t.v. stimulates children’s brains and makes it more difficult for them to fall asleep. In addition, there is not quality programming on in the later hours of the evening. It is much more difficult to regulate and enforce rules if the t.v., computer or cell phone is in their room. Removing those items is the easiest way to ensure that they are not in use.
•         If you allow your child on Facebook or to have email, have the passwords.  The risks online are great and the anonymity of the internet doesn’t always lend to the best decision making especially with a teenage mentality.  If they don’t want you seeing it, then they shouldn’t be writing it period.  Start this expectation early to make it easier on yourself.  If you haven’t done this it’s not too late to put it in place- remember you are the parent and you can change the rules if you wish.
•     Remind your children that although you gave them a cellphone it still belongs to you and is a privilege that can be taken away. 
•         Don’t be scared of technology! Embrace it and be open to learning.  Challenge yourself to learn what is out there because technology is a second language for your children and you want to be in the know.  

As a parent it is important to raise healthy, happy children.  Encourage your child’s need for independence and respect their need for privacy; however, you must also listen to your gut.  If you feel something is off or wrong, you want to have the means to be able to look into it further.  Resist the temptation of checking your child’s phone/accounts daily (this can turn into a compulsion).  Instead, find a balance between allowing for their independence and minimizing risks.  

Bathing suit season and Body image

Body image is one of the ways we perceive ourselves and for teens it is often a disproportionate gauge of their self worth.  As a parent it is important to lay a healthy, positive foundation for your children at an early age.  You are your children’s first teachers and have a profound impact on who they are and how they develop a sense of self.  Verbalize your love and affection for them at an early age and continue this for the rest of their lives. Your children also pick up on your nonverbal messages so be conscious not only of what you are saying, but also how your body language is communicating your thoughts.  Remind them that they are unique and highlight their strengths at an early age. Although this is not a direct dialogue about body image, it lays a strong foundation for them to build off of when those insecurities start seeping in.  

It doesn’t matter who you are or what your body type is, chances are the struggle with body image has crept in at one point in your life.  When this happens with your children it may be your first instinct to dismiss their concerns and tell them they are beautiful just the way they are.  However, don’t’ jump in right away - let them talk to you about it and voice their concerns first.  Then have a dialogue with them about healthy body image (as the celebrity ‘norm’ is not necessarily healthy or the norm) and say your peace.  Ask them how you can help them feel more secure and, as always, ensure them of your love and admiration for them.  In addition, keep healthy food options as a staple in your home and promote a healthy lifestyle throughout the course of their life.

School’s out… now what?!

School’s out… now what?! Here are some fun summer activities:

• Work with your child to create a story of their life book: this is a great chance to rehash fun memories and focus on their experiences that made them who they are! Work on this a little each week and this can be a fun, ongoing activity all summer.
• Create a book club with your child/ren.  What better way to encourage your kids to read then to do it with them?! This offers opportunities for good conversation and processing.
• Garden together! Get or plant to take care of all summer. It sounds silly, but name the plants. This will increase their investment in it. An easy way to encourage a green lifestyle and teach responsibility at the same time!
• Decorate canvas grocery bags together.  This is a fun art activity that you can use on a weekly basis. Your children will take great pride in the fact that you use the bags they decorated when you shop.
• Organize a game night and plan it together!
• Have your child teach you something!  Give them the reigns to teach you something. This is a wonderful opportunity to support your child and build confidence.
• Make a playlist with your child that you can listen to in the home or in the car.  Put a good mix or your music and their music on the list.  This is an opportunity to learn about your child’s interests, teach them about different music and have some engaging dialogue.
• Get out and get active with them! Ride bikes, walk, play basketball, anything that gets you moving and engaging in an activity together!

 All the while, get chatting!  Activities offer a nonthreatening way to engage and catch up on what’s important in your child’s life.  Sit back and listen - in no time you will be aware of what is going on and what it most important to them. If they’re talking about it means it’s important to them!