Preparing your child for college

As you prepare your newly independent teens, excited and eager to pick fun new bedding, towels, laundry hampers, notebooks, and textbooks to fill their new dorm room it is important to also take time to prepare them emotionally for this new experience.  College can be a very stressful time for teens.  They often have an overly fantasized view of what college is ‘supposed’ to look like and if it falls short, this can be a difficult reality. 

So, as parents, how do you help look after your child’s emotional well-being while they are away at college?  Be proactive. Discuss expectations and hopes for them before they depart.  This new chapter in college also marks a new chapter in your relationship.  As they love to remind you, they are not ‘kids’ anymore, but they also aren’t quite adults yet.  It is important to continue to balance the role as their parent as they move into adulthood.  This will be different for every family, but it is worth discussing what those changes might be and how to handle them.   

As a therapist who works with many teens and young adults I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to remain actively involved in your child’s life even though they are not under your roof.  I hear countless stories of young adults who silently struggle away at school not knowing how to reach out and not wanting to upset or disappoint their parents.  One safety measure you can put in place is to make sure you are still seeing a report card every semester.  Why? Well, because dropping grades are one of the most concrete indicators that someone is struggling.  If you know how your child usually performs in school, drops in their performance could indicate that something is wrong.  At the very least, it is an opening discussion point for you to reach out in case they do not know how. 

Catching warning signs early makes a big difference in helping them move forward.  It also holds your soon-to-be-adult child accountable as they transition into taking on 100% of the responsibility in their lives.  Throwing that at them all at once can be difficult, but a transition will certainly lesson the blow.  Especially if you are assisting in paying for their school or co-signing loans, seeing a report card every semester should be one of the requirements.  Even if you are not paying for their school request this and have an open discussion with your child about the benefits of being involved in their successes at school.   If you have additional questions or would like to offer your own insights we would love to hear from you.