How to be your child’s advocate while maintaining a partnership with the teachers.

How to be your child’s advocate while maintaining a partnership with the teachers.

No doubt your child(ren) will run into some bumps throughout their school career.  Often this is what initiates parents to reach out to teachers and staff at the school.  However, it can be even more crucial to develop a partnership with your child’s teacher before problems arise.  While this may seem obvious, the reality is that parents are busy! Most parents do not take advantage of this or do not find the time until a problem has already developed.  I have also found that parents don’t reach out because they simply did not want to bug their child’s teacher or look like overbearing parents. However, there is a balanced way to reach out to teachers without being disruptive or overbearing. 

Most, if not all, teachers now-a-days have email.  This is an easy, nonintrusive way to reach out to teachers.  In the beginning of the year ask for their email and other contact information.  Additionally, ask the teacher which means of communication they prefer when you have questions, updates, concerns and of course praisesJ Developing this partnership early on ensures that you can continue your partnership even when things are not going as expected.  It is much more difficult to develop this relationship when you are under stress or consumed with worry for your child.  There is a reason teachers refer to their relationships with parents as ‘partnerships’ because you each have vested interest in assisting and promoting growth in your child. 

Additionally, you both have valuable information about your child’s progress and behaviors.  Keep in mind that it is not unusual for teachers to report slightly different behaviors then you witness in the home.  However, if their reports vary greatly, this may indicate something else and need further discussion.  Most importantly, remember MOST teachers hope to make a difference in the lives of the children they teach.  If you get a call about a change in behavior, or a concern from the teacher try not to get defensive and understand that they are trying to help and calling you for additional help.  I know this can be difficult as it is YOUR child, however try to consider why they may be calling and be open to how you can work together to best assist your child. 

I consulted with one of my favorite teachers to ask her advice about partnering with parents and this is what she shared:  

·      In the beginning of the year explain to the teaching team if your child has any special needs, or any information that may be important for them to have as means to gain a better understanding of your child.  Again, be proactive so that they can prevent problems before they arise.

·      Any life events that may impact your child’s learning that occur throughout the year (death of a dog, childhood friend moved away, death of a loved one, not sleeping well, etc).  This offers insight to teachers and helps them to be more empathic toward your child especially if their behaviors have been effected slightly. If may be best to simply shoot a short email for these.

·      If your child is having difficulty on a project/homework, tell the teacher before the project concludes, not after.  They cannot offer assistance once it is completed so let them know ahead of time.

·      Asking for further explanations on homework.  For example, attach a little note to your child’s homework “we worked on this but could not complete as we were having difficulty with problems 5-10.  Could you offer us further explanation so we can continue to work on this at home?’  This way they know you were trying and didn’t just blow off the homework.  They will be much more willing to put extra effort in if they know you are too.

·      Any words of praise! Remember teachers are only human and work very hard, just like all of us they appreciate when their efforts are noticed!

Good Luck!