Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying

Bullying as we know it is much more complex and has taken new forms.  What used to involve a face-to-face interaction between two or more peers has now transformed into a much more complex issue.  Kids who might not have otherwise said something cruel to another child in the hallways will instead turn to other outlets such as the internet, cell phones, or social media.  Often times kids (as well as adults) seem to gain a false sense of courage by becoming ‘invisible’ behind the computer screen responding with unfiltered and often reactive rants. Kids used to be safe from bullies at home, but through the Internet bullies have access to victims 24/7.

As a therapist I hear many accounts of cyber bullying from children of all ages and backgrounds – from young elementary school children through high school age children. Many of the stories are heart breaking.  It’s hard to ignore the effects this chronic stress has on children’s lives.  Often the bully’s own insecurities and desire to ‘fit in’ cloud their ability to think rationally. 

The internet and technology has introduced a variety of outlets that make kids vulnerable for bullying.  Additionally, the internet has posed new challenges to most parents who likely have not had experience with cyber bullying and often feel at a loss over how to deal with the unique challenges this presents.

So how do you respond to cyber bullying?

1.     Listen and stay calm. Remember, it took a lot of courage for your child to come to you – praise them for that.  As disturbing as the online posting may be to read, it is crucial that you don’t overreact.

2.     Acknowledge their hurt; the pain they feel is very real.  Don’t downplay their feelings or lecture them about “sticks and stones.” Take a deep breath, support, and comfort your child. Assure them that they are loved and that the cruel words written/spoken by others do not and cannot define who they are as a person.

3.     You know your child better than anyone - be aware of how the bullying may be affecting your child. Have they become depressed? Are they suffering from low-self esteem? Are they overly sensitive or misdirecting anger at other family members? Have their grades dropped? Chronic stress can affect your child’s brain and nervous system, which can in turn make learning difficult.

4.     Make your home a safe, comfortable place for your child to return to each day.  You may need to enforce ‘phone/internet free’ times each day to force your child to disconnect.  Suggested times to do this are at mealtimes, homework times and especially bedtime.  There is no need for your child to have their cell phone with them during the hours they are supposed to be sleeping.  This will encourage your child to get a good night sleep and have a fresh start to each day. 

5.     It can be helpful to inform your child’s school so that the school social worker can keep an eye out for in-school bullying and for how your child is handling things.

6.     Block the user who is harassing your child.

7.     Assess if your child is at risk. If a threat has been made against your child consider contacting the local authorities. 

To find more information about cyber bullying please check out the video by Wiredsafety linked below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T38-9OCDrP4&feature=player_embedded#!