Negative Self-Talk

Stinkin’ Thinkin’

Hearing your child say, “I hate myself”, “I am a bad kid”, or “No one likes me” can be heart breaking and alarming.

What your children say out loud gives you a window into what they are thinking. You know they are engaging in negative self-talk when you hear things like:

“I’m never going to get this!”

“This is too hard!”

“I can’t do it!”

Sometimes it’s not what they say, but you may notice self-defeating, subtle facial expressions or mumbles under their breath.

In therapy, we take this kind of negative self-talk very seriously because self-talk is a critical part of how children acquire beliefs about themselves. Negative self-talk has been linked to low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and poor academic achievement.

If you see Negative Self-Talk becoming a pattern in your house, help your child replace their negative thinking with positive self-talk.

In home strategies to decrease negative self talk:

▪       “In our home” … Family Rules about loving ourselves – Sit down as a family and commit to replacing “I can’t” with “I can!” Make a list of rules that you can post to remind everyone in your home (even visitors) that it is okay to make mistakes as long as you try!

1. It is okay to make mistakes.
2. It is good to express your feelings.
3. It is safe to share your opinions.
4. Rest and relaxation is encouraged.
5. It is okay to ask for help.
6. Find time to play and have fun.

▪       “Family Share Time” - Encourage all your family members to talk openly about their stressors. Try instituting  ‘talk time’ during dinner or during a specific time set aside in the evening before bedtime.

▪       Love yourself! - Treat yourself like a best friend. How you talk about yourself becomes a model that your children will perpetuate.

▪       Praise - Seek out opportunities to praise your son or daughter for achievements or good behavior. Find ways to praise your children when talking to others – especially if your child is in earshot, but not a part of your conversation.

▪       Get Sassy! - Encourage your child to be THE BOSS of their negative voice and TALK BACK to it! When your negative voice tells you “You’re not going to do well on this test.”… Don’t let it take your confidence away!!  Tell that voice, ‘I’m a good learner. I’m going to try my best. If I try my best, I’ll do okay.’”

If this becomes a chronic issue or if you see your child consistently beating themselves up, this may be a symptom to a larger issue and indicate that it is time to try new techniques or speak with a professional for further assistance. 

Another great article about self talk:

http://www.pricelessparenting.com/Documents/Controlling-Negative-Thoughts.aspx#.UMk6y443iaA

Fun Apps For Kids Of All Ages

◊ Jellytoons Toddler Skills blends education and entertainment into six different games aimed to teach skills ranging from motor development to counting to shape recognition.

◊ National Geographic’s Ultimate Dinopedia: The Most Complete Dinosaur Reference Ever is a complete guide to dinosaurs for your kids to explore!

◊ Speech with Milo was created by a licensed speech language pathologist and combines familiar sequencing exercises with fun animation and lots of imagination. Kids are tasked with putting three cards in order, with each card showing the adorable animals Milo and Melvin performing one of several tasks.

◊ Slice It! wraps its tricky, shape-based puzzle-solving into a cartoonish presentation that’s easy enough for grade-school players to grasp.

◊ Stack the Countries encourages your grade-schooler to flex his or her geography muscles in a physics-style puzzle game (think Tetris with a higher purpose) that combines learning with doing.

◊ Park Math introduces young players to simple math concepts using a silly and fun approach. The app features seven games, spread out over two difficulty levels and center on the concept of animals playing in a park

Older kids:

◊ BrainPOP creates proven and award-winning educational resources including animated movies, interactive quizzes, activities, high-interest readings, and more. Students can explore hundreds of standards-aligned Science, Math, Social Studies, English Language Arts, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Music, and Health topics with their classmates or at their own pace.

◊ Weird But True is the perfect app for anyone who loves odd little factoids about everything and anything? National Geographic’s new app brings this popular book to your fingertips.

◊ Shake & Make instructs you to see a picture, study its layout, and then shake your iPhone or iPod Touch and the pieces will fall to the floor. You are then challenged to race against the clock to put the picture back together in under a minute.

◊ Teen Book Finder by Yalsa makes it easy to find the best books and media for teens, as selected by library staff and educators across the United States! This app offers easy access to the titles honored each year by the Young Adult Library Services Association, a division of the American Library

Reference: Babble.com & coolmomtech.com